January 2012
1 post
Why you should never drunk text a Whovian.
A friend of mine randomly got a drunk text from a stranger. She then did something that has earned my respect and awe. A transcript of her conversation follows. Some of this may be familiar to you.
Warning: VERY LONG. Also, words that I don't like have been bleeped out. Use your imagination.
[Transcript] Drunk Person: "tortyly drunk riht now. straight men everwhere."
Erykah: "Oh, thank God! I finally made contact! Listen, I need your help, but you're in great danger."
DP: "ni**a say wat?"
E: "Listen, my name's the Doctor. I'm a time traveler, or I was. I'm stuck in 1969 with my friend and I need your help to get my spaceship back."
DP: "u hav a spceshit?"
E: "Yes. It's a big blue box that says 'Police Call Box' on it."
DP: "dat doesnt sound liek a spceshp. gay."
E: "Hey! Don't diss the TARDIS!"
DP: "tarsiddd???"
E: "No. TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. You see, I'm a Time Lord from ANOTHER planet called Gallifrey."
DP: "y u not there now?"
E: "Well...A long time ago, there was a war and all my people died except for me. I'm the last Time Lord. So I travel through time and space lending a hand wherever I can."
DP: "woahhhh. thats relly sad."
E: "Yes, it is. But now is no time to cry. You're in a lot of danger and you need to help me."
DP: "waot. how r u in 1996?"
E: "I'm in 1969. And it's really complicated."
DP: "oh."
E: "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."
DP: "im cofussed."
E: "Well, try and keep up! Never mind the wibbly stuff. All that matters is that they've taken it! The angels have the phone box."
DP: "wut angels?"
E: "Have you ever seen like a statue of an angel? At a church or a cemetary or something?"
DP: "ya."
E: "Well, they're not angels. They're creatures from another worlds. Aliens like me, except they're very, very bad."
DP: "dat maeks sense. they alwys creepeed me out. i thought theyre jus statues tho."
E: "Good eye, you've got. But they're not. They're only statues when you're looking directly at them. Once you look away, they become deadly."
DP: "whaaa?"
E: "Listen, Lonely assassins, they were called. No-one knows where they came from. They're as old as the universe, or very nearly. They've survived this long as they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum-locked. They don't exist when being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice. It's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Course, a stone can't kill you either. But then you turn your head away, then you blink, and oh, yes it can! Notice how they always look like they're crying in the cemetaries? They're always covering their eyes?"
DP: "dats nuts! ya, ive seen dat."
E: "There's a reason for that. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry, I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.
DP: "but wut can i do? tis was all thrustted uopn me!"
E: "The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever. The damage they can do can switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me!"
DP: "ahhhhhh!!! im scrrd! idk wut 2 do! im srsly gon hav a pnic attck."
E: I'm afraid I can't help you any further. I'm stuck in 1969, but I think you're clever enough to think of something. FIND THE BLUE BOX AND GET IT BACK TO ME! The angels have it and you NEED to find it or it's all going to be over."
DP: "dont go doctr! help me!11211!!"
E: "They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!"
DP: "ik! angels hng out in gravyards rite? ill check thar 1st."
E: "Wherever you feel the need to look. I have no idea because I'm trapped 42 years in the past. Wherever you do go, just remember DON'T BLINK."
DP: "omfg. holy shit. i'll find teh box and teh angels and ill text u wen i find it. goodbi doctr. uve liked changgged me life."
[/Transcript]
August 2011
1 post
July 2011
2 posts
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
3 posts
“MARSHALL
What kind of clothes? What is
your taste?
JOE
...”
– -From Joe vs the Volcano
Guess which one of these characters I can relate to.
March 2011
2 posts
February 2011
3 posts
http://www.googleartproject.com/
January 2011
1 post
“I’m tired of all this optical clarity comin’ at me like a dancehall.”
– Douglas, a local street poet/visionary
December 2010
3 posts
November 2010
2 posts
October 2010
2 posts
Illustration has a bad name in modern culture... →
-R. Crumb in the Paris Review
August 2010
2 posts
July 2010
1 post
Nothing says you're on the right path
like a flock of little girls all dressed in their Sunday best all crowded at the shop door, giggling and pointing at the walls, all asking at once “Did you paint that? You’re magic? Can I get a tattoo?” and laughing like crazy at whatever answer I gave.
Seriously, they looked like a basket of easter eggs exploding with sunbeams.
When they were finally herded off by their moms...
June 2010
4 posts
We're open!
Thanks to all you people that have been stopping by and hollerin’ while I’m back there painting..the encouragement is awesome.
Now come and get that tattoo you’ve always wanted..I’ll make it look so good your gramma will want one.
“If I’d asked people what they wanted, they’d have said ‘faster...”
– Henry Ford
The conspiracy hive venerates the lunatics of the past while killing the lunatics of the present to prevent the lunatics of the future.
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
6 posts
"So, what are you opening up here?"
(Some of the answers I’ve recently given to this question..)
“A church.”
“Gonna install a small Hadron Collider.”
“Ah, nothing..I just needed a place to sit all day.”
“Coffee shop.”
“It’s not so much what *I* am opening up here, as what it’s gonna open up in me.”
“Cannery and Tannery..you’ll be able to...
RIP Guru of Gang Starr
This was the first track I heard him on, and it was a stand-out favorite of a stand-out favorite album. He was one of those very few rappers that actually sounded like an authority ..equal parts shaman/preacher and entertainer.
Kids, when I tell your bullshit crunk band to get off my lawn, Gang Starr is why.
“‘Should’ ain’t ‘is’.”
– J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
Yaaaay!
We’re finally in our new home at 739 N. 4th Avenue, Tucson AZ..right next to the excellent Epic Cafe and I could not be more delighted. This space is everything we need to make killer custom art and tattoos and have a blast doing it.
We get constant foot traffic, all kinds of people all day long. Bicyclists, cars, a trolley (!)..and all types of people too. Everyone from college...